For Dating and Danger:

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Does that New Guy you Met have a Potential for Violence?

Maybe.

You can't trust your "gut" instinct telling you that he is a great guy. Maybe he is.

But pay attention:

Learn to recognize the danger. Does your date have a tendency to be violent?

Self defense for Women, 2003

  • Tries to embarrass you
  • Attempts to control you or the date's event
  • Makes decisions for you
  • Seems inflexible - won't consider a change in plans
  • Acts overly jealous, even on the first date
  • Has sudden mood swings

    Keep yourself safe while dating

  • Pay for half the date: this protects you from the guys who think that he he pays, you woe him something.
  • Date during the daytime
  • Go to public places
  • Develop a good self-image
  • Exercise great care in meeting/dating people you meet on line


    WARNING SIGNS (Courtesy of My Sister's Place - a D.C. based shelter for battered women and children)

    Are you dating someone who:

  • is jealous or possessive toward you?
  • won't "let" you have friends?
  • checks up on you?
  • won't accept breaking up?
  • tries to control yo by being bossy?
  • gives orders or makes all the decisions?
  • is scary?
  • reacts to things you say or do in a way that makes you worry and alter your natural inclinations?
  • threatens you?
  • uses or owns weapons?
  • is violent or has a history of fighting?
  • loses their temper easily?
  • brags about mistreating others?
  • pressures you for sex?
  • is forceful or scary in sexual matters?
  • thinks of you as just a sex object?
  • tries to guilt trip you with such saying as "if you really loved me you would...(fill in the blank)?
  • gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
  • abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take/use them?
  • blames you for their mistreatment of you? (See spousal abuse)
  • says you provoke them, "pushed their buttons." ",made them do it," or led them on?
  • has a history of bad relationships and alwasy blames other people for any problems?

  • believes that one person should be in control and have all the power in a relationship while the other person should be submissive?
  • your friends and family have warned you about in terms of seeing a threat to your personal safety?

    My Sister's Place (Battered Women's Shelter, D.C.)

    Phenomenal Women


    Personal Relationships and Danger: Violence and Abuse

    Abusive Personal Relationships


    Gay, Lesbian, Transgenders

    Violence in the gay and lesbian community is frequently covered up. The rules and practices for protecting yourself from a violent date or relationship apply to you as well.

    Youth Resources, GLT


    Suggested reading

  • May I Kiss You? By Michael Domitrz
  • Dating Violence: Young Women in Danger Edited by Barrie Levy, Seal Press


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